NSLI-Y 서울 Summer 2019

I made it.

I realize that saying that seems a bit overdramatic, as if I just ran a marathon or hiked up a mountain, but this has been quite a journey for me. I am a NSLI-Y Seoul Summer Finalist and it feels amazing that I can finally say that.

My journey through NSLI-Y has been… a process. I initially applied on a whim my sophomore year of high school and was surprised when I got a notification back in December that I was a Semi-Finalist for the program. Looking back, this is very surprising considering how rushed my essays were and how nervous I was about applying, but I guess they saw some amount of potential at that point. Once I got my foot in the gate, I decided to actually let myself into the community a bit more. I joined into the semi-finalist group chat after finding out about it through a Facebook post and it was… a lot. There were over 70 people in there and as soon as I joined, I was readily greeted, which sounds reassuring, but in reality was nerve-wrecking and sent me into a panic attack over every word I said for the next 2 hours. But I grew to know the people and became more confident in chatting with these very nice strangers who happened to share my interests in learning languages. When I didn’t get in that year, I was sad but knew I had a good chance my junior year. So, when my notification in December came back negative that time, it hurt a lot more. I had previously made it through the gate, but now it felt like I was being denied entry, as if for some reason this was personally against me. This obviously isn’t true in retrospect, but what made me more comfortable with this setback was the friends I made through this process. A few of us made our own group chat and helped each other out with reassurances and memes and guarantees that when we made it in the next year, we would all go on a big picnic together. This reminder of how connected I felt in the community kept me applying for my senior year, what I knew to be my last chance for NSLI-Y, so I poured my heart into my essays. I started them earlier than previous years, asked alumni and fellow applicants to look over them, and tried to write and show more of why I was right for this scholarship more now than any previous year. When I made it to semifinals again, I was ecstatic that I had a chance again, but not all of the friends I made had a chance of coming with me.

I could go through my process of interviews or the strain that waiting took on me and my friends, but I feel like it is more important to say how thankful I am to receive this scholarship and for the people that have supported me this entire time. Some of the most encouraging and caring people I have ever had the chance of calling my friends I have met through just the application process of this program. I have gotten to know them, and we have chatted through late nights and shared what is happening in our lives, but the thing they have done that some of the friends I have had at school for years didn’t do was to be happy for me regardless of anything else. To be genuinely happy for me, and to not be upset that we can’t meet but instead to tell me to have a great time and experience it for them. So this trip I am dedicating myself to fully immersing myself into the language and culture of Korea, to live this trip to the fullest and work myself to the bone to prove that I have deserved it and make the people that have been cheering me on this entire time proud. They might not be there to join me, but I can still continue with them in mind.

So with that in mind, my advice to any future applicants is this: live and learn through the journey of the application, not just the potential scholarship. Join group chats and Facebook groups and make friends with the high schoolers across the country who understand your desire to learn and experience language and culture and to see the world, we are a rare breed of nerd. I haven’t met a single one of these people in person, yet I trust them. We have been there for each other for stressful months of waiting, I have made friends and started making plans with the people I am going to meet. This is all real, it can finally feel real, because of the people I have met along the way. So apply as often as you can, never give up on trying, even if it takes three times like me, or even if you never quite make it. But use the experience of the application and the process of taking chances like this to further yourself, to meet new people, and to broaden your view of the world vicariously through their experiences.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this process, and I cannot wait to make you proud as I venture out into the world. I will treasure every moment of it.

Aaron